Perception
by Kyleigh17
Summary: Brittany's struggling with her life at home, and before she knows it, she's battling anorexia. She want's to be perfect for Santana, and she'll get there no matter what. What happens when Santana discovers Brittany's new, destructive lifestyle?


**Alright, so uhm... first Brittana fic... :$ Go easy on me? But also please give me any tips to help improve :3**

**~Kyleigh**

***Disclaimer* I do not own any part of Glee, just a huge fan.**

***Caution* To anyone who has ever been or is anorexic, or has weight loss/gain issues, this story maybe triggering. Please leave this story if it may trigger you further. Also, if you need to talk, I'm here. I know what you're going through.  
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><p>Brittany's hands roamed the flesh of her stomach, pinching and squeezing the areas that she eyed to be considerably fat. The full length mirror before her was no lie, she was too fat. Too fat to be a cheerleader, just like her mother said.<strong><br>**

That was probably why Coach Sylvester had kicked her off the team. Plus, she was too stupid.

Britt slid her hand slowly along the flat part of her stomach for the umpteenth time, hoping it would feel different. Better. Skinnier.

"I know, Lord Tubbington, I see it too. Some days, I wish we could trade places, you know," Brittany made her way to the bed where her beloved cat was sitting as she pulled the hem of her shirt back down. "I mean, you're a cat. You're allowed to be fat. Mom says that I need to stay in shape if I want that college scholarship though. She says I won't be able to get through it without one."

Britt sighed as she ran her fingers along Lord Tubbington's fur. He slowly stood up and pawed his way right next to Brittany's side, cuddling into the side of her thigh.

"What's it like to be a cat, Lord Tubbington? I mean, it looks so easy. All you have to do is sleep. I wonder if you could go to college for me. That would help me out a ton."

"Brittany, Sweetie, someone's on the phone for you." Her mother's voice interrupted.

Now, Brittany's mom was very sweet, kind, and loving. An overall good mom. She worked hard to support her family with her father... but she was always such a critic. A sweet critic. She would say things like, 'Oh, Hon, you don't need to be eating that, right? You want to look your best, don't you?' or 'Sweetie, you really need to work hard to get into a good college. I know you're not the best at studying... or reading, but Cheerleading could help you make it through College.'

"Thanks mom!" Brittany called out as she picked up the phone and placed it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Britt! Hey!" Brittany smiled at Santana's voice.

"Oh, San! Hey, I missed you."

"I've missed you too. Are you busy right now?"

Britt loved Santana with all her heart but suddenly, she started becoming self-conscious around her. It became especially difficult when she gained three pounds and her mother noticed. Not to mention it seemed like Santana was losing weight.

"Yeah, I was going to start filming another talk show soon. Lord Tubbington helped me with a new great idea!" She hated lying to Santana. She pretty much never lied.

"Can't it wait? Maybe we could... you know..." She could hear Santana grinning seductively on the other end.

"San, you know I want to get our sweet lady kisses on, but I have to film this. Another day?" Britt asked hopefully.

She could hear Santana on the other end sighing.

"Forget it. I'm tired anyways. See you tomorrow, Britt."

And with that, there was a click and a range of long monotone beeps, signaling the ending of that conversation.

Brittany pulled her knees to her chest, snuggling a pillow to try and find a form of comfort as a few tears trickled down her pale cheeks.

Lord Tubbington pressed his paw gently against Brittany's hip.

"Thanks, Tubbs," Brittany smiled. "I'm glad you understand." Britt scratched behind his ear before getting up to go to her computer.

She pulled up the search engine homepage and began to type.

_how to lose wait quickly_

Suddenly options of websites popped up, most of them relating to time and how to speed up your day. This had nothing to do with what she wanted. She must have spelled something wrong.

_how to lose w_

A few options of what she might have been looking for filed neatly under the search bar.

_how to lose weight  
>how to lose water weight<br>how to lose weight quickly  
>how to lose your wallet<br>how to lose your wife_

Why would a search engine ever teach you how to lose your wife? This search thing was mean. Brittany shrugged and clicked the third option.

Suddenly a site called 'Pro-Ana' had emerged. Maybe it was a detox kind of thing.

Suddenly pictures of extremely skinny girls, very skinny girls, and even just skinny girls popped up. Some of them looked sickly, but others looked defined and cute... they had good figures. Just like she wanted. Brittany traced her finger over a girls stomach on the screen. It felt flat. Just like she wanted.

Britt scrolled down and started reading tips on how to lose weight, which in the end seemed pretty helpful.

_~Always remember to eat very little. Under three hundred calories if you can. You might feel dizzy sometimes, but just pull through it. _

_~ Exercise goes a long way. Make sure to always be moving. Try to move as much as possible throughout the day._

_Remember you've got us to help you through. Message us if you need motivation. Keep Ana alive._

Brittany looked at the screen. She'd heard of anorexia in health class before, but never thought much of it. Actually, she didn't pay much attention at all. She and Santana would have been talking and gossiping in the back corner of the classroom. Or even skipping class for that matter.

_"It was mentioned in Health Class, so it's got to be healthy. And it's fast,"_ Brittany thought._"I could do this for San, too. She'd love me more then, and I could easily get my sweet lady kisses on if I were thinner. I could be perfect for San."_

Brittany logged off her computer and rummaged through an old drawer to find a notebook of which she could write in. She could write how many calories she had, what she burned off... she could write it all.

Coach Sylvester helped Britt learn how to count calories and how to burn them when she was on the Squad. Maybe even Coach would want her back on the team. This could be perfect._  
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